Anger pushes us away from our loved ones - Forgive, forgive right now those with whom you are angry. It is possible if we do not doubt the intention!

 Recently I read a story on the power of forgiveness. I’m sure it would bridge the rift caused in any of your relationships. Two brothers lived on their farms side by side for nearly 50 years. They always worked in their fields together, shared their knowledge, and lent a helping hand to one another in times of need. One day all of a sudden,  a foolish argument caused a rift between them. When they dragged on this small misunderstanding, they started exchanging angry words and they stopped talking to each other.

One day, there came a carpenter asking the elder brother - ‘Do you have anything to repair on your farm?’ The elder brother told him that he had to build a 10-foot fence as he didn’t want to see his brother’s face who had changed the path of the creek which seemed like a border between their farms.

The carpenter had agreed and started his work. When the elder brother came out in the evening, he was shocked to see a bridge that was built upon the creek making a path for both. The younger brother who came out at the same time was equally shocked and ran to the elder brother and hugged him saying, “I’m sorry my loveable brother.  After all that I’ve said and done, you built a bridge and showed your love!” They embraced each other and cried. They thanked the carpenter for teaching them a lesson.

Through this story, we understand that we often let anger push us away from our loved ones, and allow pride to come before our love. Have you ever experienced this? 

Don’t let it happen to you. Learn to forgive. Forgiving doesn’t mean that you are too weak to fight back. Actually, forgiving is not that easy for a heart that has deeply hurt. But it is worth considering as it gives us inner peace.

Everybody has anger in them either with themselves or with others. Even the slightest event like colliding with each other while driving hurriedly to reach the office or for being late can cause anger, resentment, bitterness, and the need for vengeance on themselves and others.

For example, say your friend hurts you and you want to take revenge on him. You are thinking about various ways to teach him a lesson for two hours or so and finally, you drop the idea itself. Were you happy or unhappy during that time? Now, tell me who suffered for the past two hours, is that you or your friend? He might not even know that you are planning something against him, right?

Despite the hurt we received from the person, we need to first decide to forgive for the sake of at least our well-being. If we keep on holding to the thoughts of the hurt tightly, they will not be the sufferer. It is you who will be. It is high time to stop doubting the intention and understand what they are going through and what made them behave in that manner. 

I happened to see a mother beating her four-year-old child very furiously with a plastic bottle full of water. Can you guess whether she was happy or disturbed at that time? Yes, you are right. That was because the child got lost in the crowd and due to the anxiety she got angry. 

Just think, when you tend to make mistakes, when you are calm and composed, or when you are disturbed? Try to understand that the other behaves in a wrong manner because he may be disturbed or he might not have the right understanding.

Will you intentionally hurt others? Do you want the other to suffer? Ask yourself, will you harm anyone knowingly?

No, right?

In the same way, the other also will not hurt you or make you suffer intentionally as he is also a human being just like you, similar to you. If your intention is pure at any time and for everyone, the intention of the other one is also pure, right? Then why doubt whether he/she has done this harm to me intentionally?

My sister called me this evening and I could not attend the call as I was in a Zoom meeting. After the meeting, I called her back and she did not pick up the call. I thought she got angry and so she did not answer my call. See the above sentence: I could not and she did not! What a difference in the understanding! Actually, she was attending to her granddaughter who was crying at that time!

If I get a call and I am busy with some other important work, sometimes I might not attend and will say my intention is not to avoid it but I could not attend. On the other hand, if someone else is not picking up my call, immediately I jump to the conclusion that he or she is avoiding me and take that as a hurt. We evaluate ourselves based on our intentions and others based on their actions.

The pain of your hurt is undeniable. But rethinking it with anger is not going to heal the pain, instead, it will multiply your pain.  Never let that happen to you. Embrace the other by not doing anything against him, not even in your thoughts. The ultimate purpose of living is to lead a happy and peaceful life. Make sure you live like that.

Forgive, forgive right now those with whom are angry. There is no point in keeping vengeance or stubbornness. Do not wait, you might not get time to do that if you are not doing it now! It is possible if we do not doubt the intention! Actually, if we do not doubt the intention of others we will not get angry at all. That is the desirable state!

If we have the clarity that ‘the other is similar to me’ and ‘as my intention is good the intention of the other is also good’, we will not get angry at all, what do you think? 

Even if we are getting angry by any chance, if we have this clarity we can easily forgive. Actually, what is there to forgive if the other has not done anything against you knowingly? We can have peace of mind and calmness in us. Can’t we?